home.

they say home is where the heart is. i believe its more of a state of mind. it is our comfort zone where we feel safe and secure. there is this scene in the movie garden state in which the main character [largeman] comes back home for his mother's funeral and realizes its no longer the place that held sentimental value.

he says, "you know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? all of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit, the idea of home is gone."

its a scary feeling. i never felt this until i left home for school. i would go home for breaks and have this overwhelming feeling that i was just a visitor in my own home. home was no longer my zone of comfort. i felt out of my element.

my mom tells me stories of when she came to the US with her family. when she left the DR she remembers thinking she was being punished. it pained her to leave her country, her home. the culture was so different. everything was foreign to her. this was forty years ago and she has made this her home now.

this summer we are celebrating my birthday in the DR. she hasnt verbally confirmed what im thinking but i know it will be hard for her to go back there. its where she comes from. its her culture, but she is just a visitor. it no longer holds the value it did when it was all she knew. the idea of home is gone.




tatiana.