Literature of the Black Atlantic

Kristen:
I knew that I should have stayed home that morning. As soon as I woke up, I was overcome with a feeling of dread. I dismissed that feeling though, thinking it was only the usual feeling of dread I woke up with every morning when I thought about the day ahead. Turns out I should have listened to my instincts. That was going to be the worst day of my life. Sitting here in my hospital bed, I'm thankful to be alive. Let me backtrack and tell you how that day unfolded to leave me laying here, grateful to be alive.
My son woke me up that morning. He usually has to be the one to wake me up so I can get ready to bring him to school. His insistent cries to wake me up that morning were more urgent than usual. After dragging myself out of bed I finally woke up enough to understand what he was saying to me: "Mom! You have to get up now, there's a man at the door who is asking for you!" he yelled. I had no idea who it could have been, we lived a secluded life without much interaction with neighbors or friends. As I threw on a bathrobe over my pajamas, sidestepped the old bottles on the floor, and made my way to the door I ran through a list of the possible people it could be, but nothing prepared me for the man who stood before me. "Hello Kristen," Said the man standing at the door. I was so speechless that I couldn't react. I hadn't seen him for over eight years, right before James was born. "I thought that I would drop in on you. It's been too long and I wanted to see my son." Prior to this day, Ben had not shown any interest in his son or me and I could not believe that he picked today to show up on our doorstep. "I thought that the three of us could take a little ride." I was confused by this and told him so. "I don't think so Ben, James has school and I have to be at work in an hour." He wouldn't listen though and became aggressive, forcing the two of us into his car. He seemed to know where we were going, although I didn't recognize the area. "Mom, what's happening?" James asked me repeatedly. "I don't know honey, we'll be fine though, just stay close to me."
The car started to slow as we pulled into a gas station and parked next to a dark car with a woman sitting in the drivers seat. "Get out of the car, James" said Ben. "Mom, what's going on? what's happening?" Ben screamed at him to get out of the car and told me that if I tried to stop him we would both be in trouble. "It's for your own good James, trust me! Your mother is no longer the best one to care for you. Please get in the other car." James was afraid and so he listened to him and got into the car with that other woman. First Ben shows up to disrupt our life and then my son betrays me by going along along with it. After James got in the car, Ben came to back to our car and got into it, turning the key and pulling back onto the street. He brought me back home, telling me that this wouldn't be the last that he heard from me. I was so shaken that I could not put up any argument. I crawled into bed hoping that when I woke up everything would be better.
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Ben:
Getting the phone call from child services saying that they had been called to investigate a possible case of neglect that involved my son shook me to my core. I had no idea that I had a son, less so that he was being neglected. His mother never told me that she was pregnant. I met her one night in a bar and didn't think that it was anything more than a one night stand. I could tell from a mile away that she had serious problems. She was obviously a heavy drinker and had more pill bottles in her purse than I could count. I never would have had a child with a woman like that on purpose. After I got that phone call I was shocked and could only think of one thing: getting my child out of that situation. I was able to get her address from child services and drove to her house immediately. I don't know if you could even call it a house. The yard was a disaster and I could hear my son yelling for her to wake up after I knocked on the door. He yelled for a while, it must have taken a lot for her to shake off the hangover and drag herself out of bed. When she opened the front door I saw all the empty beer bottles lying on the ground, with my son standing behind her, looking disheveled and underfed. I went into autopilot upoon seeing the situation and forced the two of them into the car. I called my girlfriend and had her meet me somewhere safe that I could leave James. Looking back on the situation, I know that it was not the best way to handle the situation but at the time I didn't see any other options.
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Kristen:
When I woke up at first I couldn't remember what had happened that day. It slowly came back to me and it hit me hard that my son had been taken from me. I didn't know how to react to losing him and decided to have a beer to help me collect my thoughts. One beer turned into five and I kept drinking because I couldn't handle what had happened that day. At some point the beers weren't doing it for me and I needed something stronger. I went out to my usual spot where I never had a problem getting the high that I needed. That night it was different. My usual dealer wasnt there so I approached another guy that I thought could help me. He took one look at me and I saw the rage in his eyes. He knocked me to the ground and took the money I had brought to buy the drugs. After he took the money he kept hitting me, and then...That's all I can remember. The next thing I knew I was lying here in the hospital. My son is gone and i am bruised and broken. I have a feeling that this horrible day will turn out to be for the better though. Maybe I can get my life back on track and give my son the kind of home that he deserves.