Ama Ata Aidoo's The Girl Who Can really struck home. everyone has insecurities and i feel as if we always have that one person in our lives that reinforces them [whether or not it is intentional. i feel like this is especially the case for girls/women. society feeds us this image/standard that we are supposed to live up to. but the fact is its unrealistic. like Nana she is the negative nancy in Kaya's life, constantly stressing Kaya's "imperfections." it just kills me how the grandmother can be so belittling of her granddaughter. aren't grandparents supposed to be nurturing and pampering?
i can sympathize with Kaya. i have an aunt in florida who tends to pick on certain things about me which consequently makes me feel like shit. i hardly think she does it with intention and i know she wants only the best for me, but when it comes to things that emphasize the things you dont like about yourself. in the beginning Kaya never knows what to say in response to her Nana. she doesnt know whether to laugh it off or keep quiet. i use to debate the same thing, however it is very hard for me to suppress my feelings or not vocalize them.
it really bothers me that the mother doesn't work harder to stand up for Kaya. i love love love the ending. Kaya no longer has to laugh off the insults about her thin legs. its like she scored a metaphorical win against her grandmother, like the ultimate way to shut her up. its just sad that she had prove herself in a way by winning the race. i feel that Nana should express unconditional love towards her granddaughter rather than making her feel that she needs improvements.
anyways, great message.
tatiana.
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Tatiana,
I completely agree with your disgust with Kaya, Adjoa's mother, for remaining silent in Ama Ata Aidoo's "The Girl Who Can." However, it makes me wonder if Aidoo sees the mother as an older representation of Adjoa who, like Adjoa, cared to challenge the notion that women are created to carry on the race. The mothers' feelings of "being locked into darkness because she didn't go to school" and Aidoo's incomplete sentence after her suggestion that Adjoa "could always marry later and maybe..." reveal that the mother may not be as ignorant as she seems. The women in the story each seem to be a product of their generations, and the sentiments of each towards the role of women in society seems to exist on a continuum. Nana, on one end, is the most backwards. She is so conditioned by her experience that she truly feels that women are built only to reproduce. Adjoa, on the other end of the spectrum, thinks that "surely, one should be able to do other things with legs as well as have them because they can support hips that make babies" (13). The mother, though her feelings on the matter are for the most part barred by Nana's remarks, does seem to lie somewhere between the two characters. Though she herself does not succeed in breaking the norm, by encouraging Adjoa to pursue an education she actually facilitates her daughters' success. Though I totally agree that her silence is detrimental to her daughter's self-image, I do not think that she is a completely insensitive character. I have a hard time sympathizing with Kaya, but I find her silence is a sign of personal defeat rather than compliance with her overbearing mother.
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